What this Millennial learned at 30


Life is, well, life. If anything can be said about it, it is complex. After thirty years of living, I’ve come to realize this in a new light. We all experience the same up’s, the down’s, and everything in between, despite our different walks in life. This is normal and great, but what happens when you feel lost? Complacent? Idle?

I’ve been there.

Despite my blessed, happy life with family and friends, sometimes the numbing feeling of stagnation crept in. The feeling that you get when you know you’re not going anywhere. Could be in your job, or family, or even your faith. We wallow in self pity and ask “why me.” Somewhere along the way, the dreams that we had died. You know, the one’s that inspired you when you were a kid, or a teenager looking at a career or college. The dreams that made you feel like you were different and prosperity was in your future. They were slowly beaten down by life until there was nothing left but a shell of remembrance. Maybe a co-worker stabbed you in the back and prevented you from moving up in the company. Arguments with family members, most of the time over trifling things, ended relationships that should have been life long. Or one day you see the hypocrisy in the people of your church that you trusted and you don’t go back.

I’ve been there.

So what do you do when life doesn’t go the way you want it? You change it.

I realized that I couldn’t change other people, despite any effort. Socrates believed that the truth could not be told to people; they wouldn’t accept it. He found that understanding the truth must be discovered on one’s own. I realized that I shouldn’t judge people or be critical of things that I don’t agree with. The negativity I had towards these things ate away at my soul. I saw that we all struggle with wanting to be accepted. I realized that I couldn’t change the world. I couldn’t change how the media presents the news. Couldn’t change who got elected or what laws went into place. Couldn’t change the corruption in big corporations or the government. These things are all set, despite what we think about how much of a difference we have in the final outcome. I realized that I could change none of this, but I could change one thing. Me. By changing myself, it is possible to make a change not only in my life, but in the world. So I made a change. I did what most people are afraid of. I sold my house, left a secure job and home of twelve years, and started over in a new city with a new job. I took a new outlook on life, one that isn’t shrouded by doubt and fear, or held imprisoned by the chains of settling in life. I put down all the negative things in my life and focused on the positive. I still struggle like everyone else with the stress of everyday life, but it is beautiful, and I am blessed. I believe we lose sight of how blessed we are and forget to be thankful. It is a choice I make everyday to take a second and acknowledge all the great things I have been given. Now, I’m on a new path. A new journey. I still work full time, am a full time dad, and constantly try to be a better than I was yesterday husband to my wonderful wife. Now I can add one more title to who I am. I am a writer.

What are some of your dreams? What happened along the way that made you settle? I would like to hear from you so feel free to comment or like.