Why putting my wife first instead of myself is allowing me to pursue my dreams.


A few years back, my wife and I had a conversation about children on our drive back from a Christmas party. We both felt our social clocks ticking and knew it was time. One year later, we were holding our baby boy in our hands. Fifteen months after that, we were holding our baby girl. Our lives took on a whole new meaning. We began living for something other than ourselves. The change was quick, causing us to adapt to the non-stop care it takes to raise babies. Upon having our first child, my wife left her job, and never went back.

The older I get, the more I understand that plans change. My wife has two master’s degrees, and she has a strong work ethic that is rarely found today. We had planned on her starting a career and, together, working our way up the American ladder. This all changed after the children, and we wouldn’t have had it any other way.

After having my son, I began to write. As the pages built and the story grew, my wife became inspired. She had been looking for a way to help provide income from home while taking care of the kids. She found it in entrepreneurship. After doing her research, she opened an ETSY shop. This was to be the source of income she was looking for that could be done in her spare time when the kids were asleep.

As her business grew, the demand went up, and she had to prioritize her time. She now had to be a full time mother, wife, and a shop owner that provided quality work for her customers. I saw that she needed more help around the house, and mainly, with the kids. I knew that my time I would devote to writing would have to take a back seat to her. I began to do more with the house and kids, which allowed her the time to create.

As time passed, her sales increased, our kids grew, and I finished my book. She now works with a fine art company which promotes her work to small time business owners and big box stores. She has just started to work with a printer out of California that can offer anything from prints to t-shirts to coffee mugs. What had begun as a slow crawl up a hill has now become a rolling snowball. At first she just wanted to bring in twenty bucks a week, and it took some time for that to happen. Now, she is on her way of allowing me to quit my job and become a full time writer. The difference in twenty bucks a week, and what she makes now, is credited to her never giving up.

Like my writing, her shop began as a source of income. And like my writing, she found that creating art gave her so much more. She found her calling. Like plunging into parenthood, the calling is more than we can ever hope for. It can involve doing more than just one thing. Parents and stay-at-home mothers have found their calling, but it can add upon itself and become so much bigger if you are open to it. Sometimes you have to give before you can recieve. With each phase in life, the calling changes, allowing new possibilities to enter your life. It takes shape, depending on the choices you make.

Ultimately, it will tell the story of your life.

Check out Tara’s shop here